This is the text of a Fundamentals handout in the process of development: all feedback welcome!
Establish Safety and negotiate contract.
Celebrations, "attention out", physical exercise / stretches, new & good. Return to attention out when "sunk" (ie when "balance of attention" compromised)
What's bugging you right now? What feelings, tensions, images, sensations are you aware of?
Be aware of control patterns, which shut down emotional release. Let go of restrictions: breathing, sounds, movement, imagination. ("Four Tower Prison")
Have the intention to let go of what needs to come out. Act into what might be there: throw a bucket of petrol on the smouldering fire!
Tone, voice level, mood; posture / body sense: (go for the inappropriate!) Meaning: say the opposite. Discharge then repeat.
Words, actions, with exaggeration or intensification: do it / say it again; louder, faster, harder.
When was the last time you felt like this? And the one before?
When was the first time you felt like this? ....Leading to:
Present Tense.
Don't tell the counsellor how it was, describe it as if it is happening now.
It's not your job to explain to the counsellor, the aim is to be in the experience.
Use all your senses: what does it feel, smell, sound, look like?
Cushion as other: What do you really want to say / do to X? Say it. Do it.
Reverse role play: Speak to self from position of other.
Cushions as "Subpersonalities", as older, wiser self, or "free child" self: Speak from that place and offer advice to present self.
Counsellor takes role of other, and only uses key words given by client.
Re-evaluate: make connections, explore possibilities: The "moment of insight".
Celebrations (discharge whatever blocks free and uncluttered expression; repeat as necessary)
Directions, goal setting, action planning. Make clear unambiguous statements.
Target practice: role play with counsellor what you want to say to another to change things.
Patterns are those rigidities in our thought / behaviour which prevent us from acting with intelligence in the present moment. The aim of working is to discharge the distress which was not allowed out when the pattern was established and subsequently reinforced. This is best done in the presence of someone who offers "free attention", a link to an awareness of our own "inner counsellor" and the safety of the setting. This can lead to "Re- evaluation", healing of hurts, forgiveness of self and others and new insights into different ways of being. With the freshness of this liberated energy, new goals can be set, new directions envisioned. Things can be different!
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(NB most of these refer to Normal and Intensive contract only)
Establish Safety and negotiate contract.
Have an open and responsive presence. The client is in charge of the session!
Respect the person with loving awareness; aim to contradict the pattern. Let go of your agendas, make sure you are able to offer what the client needs. If not, tell the client before your body language does! Let the client know if you can't handle restimulation.
Support the client in letting go. Be prepared for anything! If the contract allows, offer verbal encouragement for discharge.
Don't crowd, rush or smother the client. Don't thrust tissues into hands. Don't get "stuck" physically: be poised, prepared to move around, stand up or whatever is needed to go with the client.
Model contradictory tone, posture, etc. Use your creativity. Be light, elegant. Offer a verbal contradiction of meaning if appropriate. But be careful not to contradict the client!
Just say "again"; "repeat that". Keep it up if the client discharges angrily, but be aware of the subtle difference between the resistance of the pattern to contradiction and the client's own self-direction which overrides your part in keeping up the interventions. As with the care needed with contradiction, experience will give more confidence in the use of this technique.
Say "When was the last time this happened?"; ". . .and the one before?"; "when was the first time?"
Encourage use of all channels of perception & reporting. If the client is regressed (ie experiencing being in a past state, and especially as a small child), your job is to gently offer reassurance, possibly by repeating back to them key "charged" phrases in their own words together with soft noises of reassuring support ("Hmmmm"). Make the tone of your support appropriate to the apparent age. NEVER contradict, NEVER interpret.
Cushion work: just offering a cushion when you fantasise that the client is not saying something to another is often all that is necessary. Suggest any possibilities for reverse role play which you fantasise might be fruitful. Don't get drawn in to the drama. Don't give attention to cushions!!!!
If you feel uncomfortable when a client says something directly to you in role of other, step aside (literally) and put a cushion in front of the client. Offer attention to client slightly from the side. Be prepared to move around quickly at all times - model fluidity, imagination.
Ask client for recap, "nutshell", direction. Offer direction (without attachment). Suggest repeating of direction / celebration without squirming, downcast eyes, giggles, slumped posture or whichever of the client's patterns appears to be blocking a full, wholesome, direct communication to you as the witness.
Don't treat the client as if you were a professional helper with a serious, formal demeanour. Don't explain things to the client, don't engage in any kind of justification for your interventions. Keep your interventions elegant, short & snappy. Just lay them before the client then forget them. They are gifts, not directions or instructions.
If the client does what you think they "should" be doing before you have chance to say it, CELEBRATE your wonderful empathy with the client's process! If you don't seem to be able to get an intervention in sideways, relax, let the process happen and enjoy being with a skilled client and learn from the way they are handling their session! Remember: all the client needs is your free attention - NOTHING more, and certainly nothing less.
David Colbourne +44 (0)1993 776733
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